


Not all Dogs Go To Heaven

by DeathjunkE



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 20:25:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathjunkE/pseuds/DeathjunkE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That jammy little bastard, acting all cute and playful. Remus shouldn't have to play tug of war with some fuzzy little Rugby ball, when he could have been doing anything else… like going to fool about in the snow for instance!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not all Dogs Go To Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> There are a few quick nods to NCIS and Cowboy Bebop but if you've never seen either show don’t worry. ☺  
> based on this lovely picture:  
> [](http://shaggydog-swap.livejournal.com/9425.html)

Winter Hols were just awful! They always were. There was no exception to the rule they were filled with pointless social gatherings and marriage proposal dinners and Walburga Black. It was enough to drive any marauder to drink….

Or well it would if he actually cared for the taste of fire whiskey, wine, brandy, scotch, beer, coolers or even spiked punch. But sadly Sirius was not one of the many who found pleasure or ease in alcohol.

Instead he found solace in his friends. The Irrepressible Mr. James Potter, The Quick witted and sharp Mr. Pettigrew and the most charming, devious and intelligent Mr. Remus Lupin. 

Those Gents knew how to search out a good time! 

Sirius frowned as he contemplated where to go.

James was off visiting his grand uncle off in Albania, Peter was somewhere with his girlfriend of the moment. How he always managed to get the loveliest girls on his arm Sirius would never know, but then Pete was one hell of a smooth talker. That left the most enjoyable company of one Remus John (I'm-to-charming-for-my-own-damn-good) Lupin. 

So Sirius dressed in his most rebellious [Read; Muggle], yet respectable clothes and left the house of Misery escaping from his over bearing mother, completely stoned father and irritating little brother to catch the Knight Bus. 

The Handsome Mr. Black pushed a sickle into the driver's hand and took a seat on one of the plush chairs as he awaited his stop. The Knight bus was an experience the heir of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black relished. It wasn’t very often that he got to ride the Knight bus; Most of the time Sirius Traveled by Floo. Just about every wizarding home was connected and accessible through Floo. Other times for the more Formal affairs his mother Side-alonged Regulus and himself. Bus Sirius loved the knight bus. All the colors and streets flying past the window and the knowledge of how the motion turned his mother a fetching shade of Slytherin green

When the bright purple bus stopped in front of a small farmhouse with a wired fence and a few hen's milling about out front Sirius could barely kept the smile from his face. He waved to the Driver and stepped off of the bus that crashed loudly and disappeared from sight. Sirius took a deep appreciative breath and let his eyes wander to take in the landscape. Things were so different from London out here in the country. The air was cold, crisp and smog free, there were stalks of tall brown of grass that peaked through the snow that blanketed the ground and The road was paved with gravel instead of the smooth tar

For winter it was a beautiful day! Clear skies bright sun and an overall vibe of energy and that permeated the air. It was clear that today would be fantastic! Perfect for Mischief and tomfoolery and other boyish shenanigans! 

With a bounce to his step Sirius sauntered up to the little farmhouse and knocked to the old oak door. There was some shifting sounds and a bit of a scuffle before the door opened and a smiling Mrs. Lupin pulled open the door.

"Oh! Sirius, how nice to see you!" The small brown haired woman smiled pleasantly and ushered her unexpected guest into the house, "Remus didn’t tell me to expect you, if I had known I'd have made lunch earlier."

"No, no, don’t worry!" Sirius said with a beatific smile, charm was the key. Mothers like Mrs. Lupin like sweet boys who brought flowers and did thoughtful things and Sirius could be sweet when he wanted to. "I came just to surprise Remus,"

"Remus is out back in the c with, Ein."

"With who?"

"Oh they'll just love the company I'm certain." She gushed and led Sirius through the small house to the back door. "I'll go start lunch! Do sandwiches sound good to you?" 

Sirius nodded and gave a quiet "yes, that sounds great!" before he stole into the room on quiet feet. 

Usually he'd just rush in, straight to Remus but this Ein person, who the hell was he? Was Moony suddenly interested in blokes because if so, this Ein fellow was clearly not going to cut it. He didn’t even know Remus like Sirius did.

Maybe Ein was A new friend of Moony's? He couldn’t be that good a friend if none of the other Marauders had ever met him. Besides Sirius was Remus' _best_ friend. This guy probably had no clue about anything, maybe Remus,– too nice for his own good honestly— was just tolerating this delusional ass and would love a rescue.

Sirius nodded to himself and strode past the recliner and past the coffee table so that he could see this Ein person. But he didn’t see another person —well he did, but it was just Remus was sprawled out on the sofa with a little fuzzy runty thing on his stomach but there was no other boy.

As if feeling the presence of another person Remus moved the book away from his face and looked around the room. When his brown eyes fell on Sirius he looked shock for a few seconds before his lips stretched into a wide smile. "Sirius, What are you doing here?"

"'ello Moony!" Sirius said with false cheer as he looked around the little glass walled room, as if someone would attack him any second. Nothing was out of place in the room, the plants lined the walls and hung from the ceiling and there was nowhere for anyone to hide. Did this Ein character have an invisibility cloak? "What, Remus, not happy to see me?"

"No I'm glad for the visit!" Remus smiled and sat up properly, his hands moving the little brown fur ball on to the cushion besides him.

The little thing whined and lifted it's head to sniff and paw at Remus. 

That's when it struck him, Ein could be an Animagus!

Sirius glared at the little dog, his lip curling in disgust. He had a stupid form, sure it was kind of fluffy and endearing but stupid thing was so short, and scrawny and annoying with those huge "come pet me" eyes. He'd go kick it is what he'd do.

 

"Remus. Why is there a Rat on your sofa?"

 

"It's not a Rat, It's Mrs. Mallard's Corgi." Remus supplied unhelpfully as he scratched the horrid little thing behind the ear. "His name is Ein."

"That's a stupid name." Sirius snarked mercilessly.

"So Is Sirius."

Sirius drew back as if he's been punched. That freaking Rat had to go! He was poisoning Remus against him in attempt to make a play to be Remus' best friend cum love. It was corrupting him and stealing all of the ear scratches for it's self. The bastard.

Two could play at this game… 

"So Remus, you want to go down by the river and build a snow man?"

"I wish I could, but I don’t want to take Ein out there. He's shorter than the snow drifts I'd lose him." Remus looked fondly at the dog the rolled over and plead for belly scratches with his eyes.

Sirius held back an irritated growl. Those' were his goddamned belly scratches and this git had no right enjoying them like that. Look how indecent he was being! Remus wasn’t even his and still his leg was going a mile a minute and his tail was thumping a steady beat on the floral print cushion.

"So leave him here."

"I'm dog sitting Sirius, and I cant, Ein has to take his meds in about 20 minutes." Remus offered an apologetic shrug. 

"Right, well then…" Sirius pulled off his hat and scarf and made his way over to the couch. With one quick shove he was seated between the Dog and the werewolf. The little mutt hopped down from the sofa and wandered off behind a plant. Sirius felt the swell of victory in his chest and grinned, unabashed, "What would you like to do today Remus?"

"Um, well I don’t really know?" Remus trailed off, distracted by the loud squeaks that emenated fom behind a potted plant. The older boy leaned forward and craned his neck out to see what the noise was. 

Sirius watched to curious about the shrill irritating squeak.

Just then Ein burst from behind the largest plant carrying a black and white squeaking toy shaped like a skunk and ran full tilt at Remus. The dog squeaked all the way back to the sofa jumping up onto Remus' lap and shaking the toy and looking sickeningly cute. 

"Oh, Ein," Remus chuckled and tugged at the other end of the toy wiggling it and being an engaging playmate.

"Oh, Ein." Sirius muttered through his clenched teeth, that jammy little bastard acting all cute and playful. Remus shouldn't have to play tug of war with some fuzzy little Rugby ball, when he could have been doing anything else… like going to fool about in the snow for instance!

"want to go a round with him Sirius?" Gently Remus pushed the dog aside and scratched that super-secret-oh-so-incredible spot under the enemy dog's chin. "I've got to hit the loo." 

"Right," The black haired boy waited until the sound of Remus' foot steps became distant to pull out his mother's spare wand and mutter " _Animagus Revealo_."

Ein cocked his head to the left and wagged his curly little tail, grinned a dogged smirk that stretched across his maw.

"Oh you're good…" Sirius sneered, "But I'm better." The change was almost instant, he shifted from boy to large black dog in barely a minute.

'Why are you here you little runt?'

'Not a runt, mutt.'

'Mutt!' This little git had some nerve, 'I'll have you know—'

'That you're a flea bitten hound? Yeah I know.' Ein sat back on his haunches and scratched lazily at his ear, 'You're not even a real dog.'

'I'll real dog you in a minute!' Sirius snarled bearing his teeth and looming over the little usurper. 'You stay away from Remus.'

'Never! He's gonna be my boy No more stupid sweaters and old rancid perfumeand boiled cabbage smell in my fur and fake bacon snacks and so many other dogs! I wont stand for it!' The little thing snarled, looking possessed as its fur puffed up and bristled, his surprisingly deep snarl seemed so out of place. 'He's gonna be my boy! He plays fetch, and has chewy shoes an tennis balls and gives me table food! I'm going to be his best friend.'

That was it! Sirius opened his maw wide his teeth and lunged for the little dog, fully intent on giving him a good but to the ass when he was hauled back by the scruff of his neck. 

"PADFOOT!" Remus thundered as he swatted at the big black dog with a sheaf of papers he was carrying. "What is wrong with you! Here I am thinking you were going to play with Ein and you're being a big bully!"

Sirius felt his ears, tail and eyes droop, being a dog was always so hard. You could never pretend you weren’t ashamed, or happy oe confused because your body did all the talking. He watched from the corner of his eyes as Remus scooped up Ein into his arms.

'Ha, you're on your way out muff-face!' Ein tipped his head up and licked Remus' chin and that's when it all came to a head.

Sirius stood up on his back paws and sprung at Ein knocking over Remus and the irritating little runt at the same time. He morphed as quickly as possible and frowned at Remus ho clearly didn’t understand. "Moony, you're my friend right?"

"You keep acting like this and I wont be!"

Sirius grasped Remus' chin in his hand and made a point tof looking him in the eye. This was important; he couldn’t let Remus stay uninformed. "Ein is Evil."

"Wait, what?"

"He wants to move in and be your new best friend!"

"Well he's a dog." Remus explained slowly and patiently; as if talking to a particularly slow-witted child. "Dogs generally want to be people's friends, Sirius."

"So what, am I not good enough for you anymore Moony?"

"Padfoot…" Remus shook his head and heaved a weary sigh, "You're my best friend. Ein is just a dog, _Just_ a dog. I'm watching until his owner comes back, which is in like in two minutes. I just was on the phone with her."

"He's going home?"

"Yes Sirius, and so are you… I think you're a bit under the weather or delusional or something because really…" Remus made a vague hand motion that was obviously supposed to encompass the whole situation but Sirius took to mean I would love for you to get that freaking rat off of my leg.

Sirius was just about to reach back and shove the dog away when a shrill call of 'Ein Darling!' came from with in the house. Instead Sirius snatched the little dog into his arms and deposited him in the arms of the little old woman who entered the conservatory with a handsome smile.

"Ein really missed you Mrs. Mallard. I'll see you back at school, Moony." Sirius called over his shoulder as he sauntered out of the far house. Today hadn't been a total bust afterall.


End file.
